Kids Grow Up

This has been a different year for me. My twins are now six. Taught them to ride bicycle in the matter of a day. Well ok, maybe it wasn't quite that quickly but bending up the training wheels and telling my daughter that she's really only riding when the rattle of the outriggers goes away certainly helped.

When you have children its no constraint to put their needs and wants above your own. To be there with them and your wife as the family you are. They know that we are more important to each other than any inanimate object. Just as important a lesson for me as for them. It grounds us.

Wacky weather here in the northern midwest has made it a little easier, no doubt. Not to say that there haven't been days when I would have liked to have been on the bike, but as things change you tend to appreciate each of those little gems in life a bit more. The kids, my best friend and of course the rides.

Which brings me to an interesting change in my riding habits.

When I had what I thought was more time, I took more rides but they were shorter. Now that I seem to be more aware of who needs what and to what degree, the rides have gotten considerably longer. Breathing more deeply.

Its something of a return to my very old ways. When I was younger I earned the nickname Marathon Harv. One story from those single carefree (but not better just different) days began with a late Friday night get together of a group of riding buddies. We met at karl's house in Waukesha county WI and they agreed that I should lead.

Now this was long before GPS. Maps still folded out into impossibly large sheets of squiggly lines. Rivers and state parks were often the main feature. Squiggly lines without reference to road construction but detailed enough to help the sojourner find a lonely motel somewhere between here and there.

We met at Karl's with steaks, hamburger meat and bratwursts stuffed into our riding jackets. The grill was fired up while friends and girlfriends trickled in off Davidson Road. Once the sun dipped below the horizon the sky's sparkle began to shine with countless stars. It had a depth. You know how it is when you look up there on a clear night and it seems like some things are closer than others? How the Milky Way seems closer than other stars and clusters of stars? That's how that night was. The moon was clear and bright. I recall so many of those nights.

We talked about the direction we'd like to head. The pace and the types of roads we wanted to be on this night. For some reason only beknownst to the heavens they decided to let me lead. Someone handed me a map while eyes peered over my shoulders. Someone made the joke "Go west young man!" and wordlessly we all agreed. I chose a back door route past the quiet city streets of Waukesha and said, "From there I'm playing it by ear".

Time seemed to slip away. Roads bathed in the high beams of UJM's (universal Japanese motorcycles) flooded open fields on every bend, exiting millions of fireflies to their eery green yellow glow. If you haven't ridden southeastern Wisconsin on a hot summer night its one of those things you don't appreciate until you see it. It looks like waves of tiny Christmas lights blinking across grey black fields. I don't know how else to describe it.

The serenity of the ride, the peaceful hum of the bikes behind me just kept me rolling forward. I had no idea to where or how far I was taking us. We stopped at an all night gas station but no one questioned the time. At least no one said anything to me. So we kept going.

Signs annoucing towns who inhabitants numbered in the low hundreds. Unencorporated.

Weather beaten barns and horses resting in the fields. The sheen of dew glinting from every surface.

Go west young man.

I don't recall any sign telling me we were anywhere near Madison. But we passed the city at some point. And so we came to a river. And we stopped at the bridge crossing the river. A hush was over us. The mood was peaceful. Satisfied. We parked the bikes, opened our sodas and lit our smokes. Scotty broke the silence with a question.

"What the hell river is this?"

He walked up the bridge to a sign on the far side. From the distance we heard the exclamation.

"The Mississippi?? The freakin Mississippi?? He took us to... You took us all the way to the freakin' Mississippi!!!"

I opened my mouth but could only repeat "I... I... " I shrugged and held my hands up.

Someone hollered to Scott that it sure didn't take us that long to get there. He stopped, looked up at the moon and just shook his head.

"Next time..." Said Scotty upon return, his index finger making his point to all of us, "Next time Marathon Harv here, leads us, make sure we have a place we're actually going to. Someplace to arrive or else god only knows where we'll end up."

And you know, I've wondered that a few times this summer...

Harv

Hand in Hand

Inspiration is the appeal of some ethereal connection a person finds outside themselves, to something else. An influence on life and perspective. Inspiration can focus a person's goals while it sheds the less important clutter we accumulate. Most of which we hardly realized we've been giving space to, until something inspires us to reevaluate if we're on track with who we intend to be and where we intend to be going.

The Emotional and the Physical. Seems like it takes a jarring life experience to move you off center. Some dramatic influence you can't control, pushing you right off your feet. Often it hurts emotionally. Some of us internalize the pain while others lash out without even realizing it. Others draw back until the storm subsides. Till the waters become calm again.

If you're a rider you tend to react to emotional sizemic shift by finding a direction and heading into it. You ask all your questions to the universe, to your god or even your dead relatives in the the free blowing wind. Its something fairly difficult to explain to a non rider regarding why we ride. Everyone wants soundbite answers to everything nowadays.

Non riders see us in it for the exitement. The truth is, we do it for the fulfillment. Going fast doesn't solve it for us. We're not necessarily looking for a head rush. Closed tracks are meant for head rushes. We're finding fulfillment. You would know this but try to explain to a non rider that riding is to us the initiated, our quiet time. You couldn't put it past them. No way they would believe it. That the rider in motion is the spirit at rest.

People who dabble in bikes don't get it either. Its not a hobby and no, you don't "get it". What you're looking for is somewhere else. Not that the rest of us begrudge you riding, but in all honesty, the image you think is legitimate is hung over us like droll humor on last year's runway models. Perpetuated by a non riding public assuming it understands when it doesn't. That's not anyone's fault, but it is a misperception.

Put another way, the bikes I ride sound like music to me. Moreso because I'm a blues musician. Love the blues. Been playing sax since the seventies as a kid. I didn't realize how lucky I was to be playing with a group whose talent and sense thereof was piqued to every player and note we produced. You couldn't just join. You auditioned. You showed your stuff and then you were placed. A year down the road you were reevaluated. We were about the music. We had to play it at its level, not the other way around. And we had to improvise. Not unlike riding safely.

The sax and the bike are skills to be learned. But it takes a certain amount of talent to use either of them well. Newer musicians think about the exitement of playing in front of a live audience. Non riders think about thrills and spills. The uninitiated only see the end results of attempts at music and riding ability. The unwashed imagine the David Sanborns, the concerts. They flip the cable channels and see people performing stunts and sometimes failing at them. Exitement. Adrenaline.

But riding and playing music aren't about that. They fill a need. They satisfy something deeper. Long term. For me riding is a near uninhibited time of contemplation. Phrasing ideas into coherent thoughts, useful in interaction with others. And music focusses my mind emotionally. Playing jazz and blues really lets me see how the inner guy is doing. Without having to ask him. Fullfillment. Peace.

Harv

This piece is dedicated to Micheal Savage, who discussed the subjects of exitement versus fulfillment the other night. The yacht. The bay.

Back in the Saddle

I've been wallowing in a bit of self pity. I didn't even realize it. Somehow I let other things in my life take precendence and lost sight of what makes me, well, me. Last night my wife took one look at me and told me to go ride.

I never really noticed how much the scooter has become the favorite of the stable. Something about that machine is better than the others. It doesn't have more power than the others. It doesn't have the image of a true motorcycle. Its a conglomeration of things I prefer and things which might not be as favorable as some aspects of a full on motorcycle. I know. I've got a Yamaha Virago, Honda Nighthawk and Harley Sportster to compare it to. Yet its ride is more individualistic than anything the true road machines can provide.

Last night I donned the helmet after reaquainting myself with my Corrazo 5.0 riding jacket. Hein Gericke gauntlets (not the newer line, these have been with me for over twenty years and not a stitch is out of place) pulled up near mid forearm just felt right. Again.

You can change a lot in your life but some things ought never to be lost. Sure, priorities can be rearranged slightly to fit the needs of a period in one's life, but never lose sight of who you are. Never give up that which defines you.

I've heard more than a few friends tell me they've lost who they once were. I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in their wives' eyes. Once you sacrifice some intrinsic piece of yourself for the sake of others, eventually you resent yourself for never returning to who you were before you commited that selfless act for the love or needs of others. Even though it was the right thing to do, eventually times change and times of need pass. Just as a baseball game has two sides taking turns swinging their bats to score, eventually each team has to stand in the outfield and recieve the ball.

Seems like a minor thing, just to ride. But for many of us who blog about riding, its central to our very nature. It changes us in ways our spouses and friends probably see better than we can. It makes us more whole in some way. When Annette looked at me it was with the recognition of a best friend who knows what you need when you begin to drift off your center. You need to ride. Those were her words.

The busy heat of the day was settling for sumptous cooler air with long shadows across country roads. That little single lunger sounded for all the world like it was happily humming beneath me. Bugs by the hundreds were mashing themselves on my windscreen and donking off my helmet. The effects of swamps and woods made the little swarms targets of evening birds and a few bats. As my high beam lit the roads kamakaze pilots of feather and black fur darted through the light, grazing in the temporarily fertile airfield of artificial day.

It just doesn't get any better than that. Only more available time would make it better. Kind of like a slice of your favorite pie only makes you want to buy yourself another when no one's looking.

For some of us riding is like a slice of pie. A treat. There isn't anything wrong with that. For others though, people like you and me, that treat would be a personal epic journey. A tale of two cities seperated by historic persona. Yet the story itself taking place between them. The cities themselves, mere bookends.

That's what we do. What we live for. Its what being back in the saddle means.

Harv

Spill, Loss of Will

No, not me. My wife has been taking Kythera to work some days. Then it happened. She managed to tip the bike over with her riding over the top. She was fine, but the bike took a mark.

You know how it is when you damage your own things. But forbid it that someone else does it. The world's about to end. Somehow it sticks in your craw. You get over it but you don't, if you know what I mean.

If your father ever took your car one morning, brought it home on a flat so that only about eight inches by an inch or so of rubber was left on the entire rim and then took your other car without saying a word about the whole incident to you, then you understand how I got to where I am.

If your father duplicated the key of your pick up and lent it out to people without your prior knowlege or consent on weekends, you would get an idea of how I feel about ever damn one of my vehicles.

If your father ever took your Super Beetle and never disengaged the parking brake, then complained about how slow a car it was and what the hell was that stink in there, You might gather a sense of how much trust I would have to have in anyone to let that person use my car or bikes.

You know, you'd think I'd have learned with the Duster and that Chevelle... Oh, the VW could have been an honest mistake. But the deal with my F150...

So when the Vespa went over in the hands of someone else, didn't matter who that someone else was, real old resentment boiled to the surface. Like a tar pit churning the stuff it chokes over the centuries. The right situation could bring old bones back to the surface.

Doesn't help that I'm pissed that Karl is no longer for this earth. Guys like him deserve more time with those who they matter to. He's the kind 'made this world a better place.

So the Vespa sits. I can't ride it. Maybe writing this will help me past this bs and I can move on. The Virago has been out though. The Nighthawk is close to finished and the Harley just needs a fresh battery.

Come to think of it Christine has been out quite a bit even for being as busy as I've been. That bike's been with me since 1987. A Virago named Christine.

Screw it. I think I got it out of my system.

Kythera is calling...

Harv

This post is for the Ziebart and Peters families and friends thereof

Normally this site is for motorcyclists and scooterists. Today I speak to those whose loss was with the Peters and Ziebart families.

Where does one begin? Sunday was a shock to us all. Karl's been a lifelong friend. My earliest memories involve Karl and Bernie. A senseless accident took Karl, little Lukey and Amber's friend. The shock we've endured, the pain we will face is not going to subside anytime soon.

There is no prescribed pattern to how we will all deal with our loss of Karl, Luke and Cara. I won't pretend that we can subdue our feelings with some deeper dedication to prayer or what have you. The fact remains we will mull this over in our minds hundreds if not thousands of times. The emotions which will surface are natural. And Do Not forget that the Almighty designed us with these emotions. Not to deny ourselves what we feel, but to gain glimpses of where we stand, so to speak. To be honest with ourselves.

Scripture tells us to "be angry and sin not". Christ tore the temple apart when he found out what was going on inside the gates. Even so, his response fit the crime.

Why would I write crime? In what way is this a criminal act? In some legal terms it might indeed be a crime scene. Less an accident. From the perspective of the accident itself. The abrupt and misunderstood taking away of our dear loved ones feels like a crime.

But we didn't own our loved ones. What we shared, the moments of our lives together, is ours. Memories of love and friendship, good times and hard. That's what we're really allowed to own.

Seems insignificant doesn't it. Not enough.

You build a life from the soil you're standing on and you nurture the life you're giving your family. No guarantee is set in stone that all this work, here on this rock, will amount to anything we mortals can present to eternity and say Look, Here is my earned key to unlock the Great Gate.

The key we're given is one of mercy. Even in the face of such tremendous loss, where emotions swirl and torment us. Robbing us of rest and peace.

I can't be anything other than honest. This... sucks.

DearLordinheavenKingofmercyandgraceandallthatisgood;

this sucks.

You knew I was thinking it. But I also know that You knew I would be thinking it. Because You made me and them and all of it. How would you not know?

My heart breaks for them. Our hearts are broken, together in a way.

Show us how to be Your hands.

And Your heart.

Harv



But it will in the place where faith is the substance of things hoped for.

Playing Hookey

After the inlaws left late Sunday afternoon I got that first extended ride in. There isn't much to say other than it was glorious. Cold once the sun dropped below the horizon but still just as I remembered the rides last year. You can't keep a good thing down.

Now on Mondays I usually have a three hour rehearsal with a band. But the weather called out to me. The day either broke or came close to breaking sixty degrees. You just can't pass that stuff up. My wife got home, loaded up the kids for their gymnastics class and I rolled the Vespa out into the driveway.

I headed straight west. A full tank of gas and a smile on my face.

In the matter of a single day some of the country roads I'd been on the day before were changing. Sand was pushed further off the intersections and people were beginning to show life outside their homes. It felt like a kind of revival was happening throughout the farmlands.

I cruised toward my farm initially. Its just a twenty mile jaunt with two main routes to it. If you go north its a straight shot. You just keep driving straight until you get there. But the other route is much more interesting. You can roll along with woods coming right to the road in some places. The land itself rises and falls more than the other path. One thing that makes a big difference is that the Mississippi runs beside the straight road. Within a few acres. The hills are much more gentle than the road I began on yesterday. The lay of the land, as they say.

The wind was calmer on the second ride. Enough so that I could hear the bike's single lung huffing along happily. I cruised at an approximate sixty per and just enjoyed another late afternoon. Sweeping gentle bends let me lean her over the way I like. An evening sun, twisty roads and the scooter have a way of settling my spirit. Some people garden, others cook. I ride.

You get to that place in your mind where you tune out the unimportant things and focus on the ride itself. You look further ahead. You pay better attention to your lane placement. Books and blogs about riding seem to drift in and out of your thoughts.

I think about what people have written in the riding blogs when I ride. I think about how this view reminds me of something Steve Williams has photographed. Or I'm reminded of Dan's words about lane location and speed. I look far ahead and the view gets bigger. I see where I'm going much better in this frame of mind than I might in the other life away from the bike, that I live.

These are the times when the imperfections of the road seem to vanish. Its the ride, the panoramic sightseeing that is unlike driving a mere car. Where too many things are available to influence your mind away from the world you're actually travelling through. But then, we don't take rides like these in cars anymore.

I manage to do it on the best rides. I manage to do it on the early season rides too. I get myself lost. You know how it is. You take an offshoot of the road you're on and meander for no other reason than to see what it looks like from that hilltop however many miles away. But you have to see because its so high compared to everything else. And the road looks like it leads right to the top. So you turn off and head for the view.

And its another great panoramic vision you don't regret deciding to take in. Then there's that other road, weaving down off the main you just came up on. You can tell there's some weaving because what you see spills off at a bend through the trees. Before you realize it you're having to make a quick decision or negotiate a U turn. No cars ahead or in the mirrors. You look over your shoulder. Its clear. Signal, lean hard and blip down a steep hill to explore some more.

I did that for a few hours yesterday. Just following the best roads I came across. I got lost and didn't regret it at all. The surprise of recovering my bearings when I popped out on familiar tarmac is something which always causes me to smile. If I knew the names of the roads I'd been on, I don't think it would matter. I don't want it layed out with that much clarity just yet. Maybe the name or number will matter more when I feel like I've mentally mapped out the places I've ridden in relation to the local landmarks. But for now, there is no urgency to know.


I think the band knows what I snuck off for...

Harv

Record Setting -15 degrees Fahrenheit This Morning

I had to edit the temp because here at the house it was one degree cooler than at the St Cloud airport where the official temps are taken.

The morning news program I listen to while my kids get themselves ready for school noted that St Cloud reached way down and found a new low temp this morning.

Here's the funny thing; yesterday it was warmer but the winds were stronger. This morning actually felt nicer because the winds subsided. Frankly none of it matters because the roughly four inches of snow we recieved two days ago brought out the blasted salt/sand trucks.

So... tomorrow, they're telling us it could reach thirty two degrees. By Saturday we could rise to what someone decided is supposed to be normal temps for this region this time of year. In other words, we should be melting by now.

I have garage fever. Its like cabin fever except you stare out at the iced roads from your open overhead garage door. You try to mentally will melting. You clean your driveway to the point an eleven degree sunny day is enough heat to melt the thinnest films of ice on blacktop.

I'm not starting the Vespa for the sake of hearing it run anymore. The next time there's spark in that engine, that thing's going on the road.

Unfortunately the last time I rode only made my current bout of garage fever worse. Less than a week has passed since that ride. Still, with the drifts and only salt to initiate melting on the roads, its seems like a lifetime ago.

I can name it though...

Garage fever.

Harv