Friday, May 07, 2010

Prettier With Age

I sold the Virago.  I know, I know.  How can you sell a bike you've had that long?

Same way you sell anything else.  You finally realize the time has come to sell it and then you act on that notion.

I rode that sweet little machine to Wisconsin for the last time.  An old friend who always liked her said he was ready to buy her.  So from central Minnesota to Wisconsin we went.  The old girl and I. 

I pulled on a sweater because the weather channel told me I would be crazy not to. In town it was forty three degrees. Out here? I try not to pay too much attention to that. You sort of induce an oversensitivity to what the weather feels like versus what it actually is if you convince yourself X degrees is too freakin cold instead of what you actually feel. But I was still shivering by the time I hit the east side of St Paul.

The winds that Saturday were anywhere from thirty five to forty five miles per hour.  Gusty.  That bike tracked straight though.  Just as she always has.  Through small towns and long stretches past lakes.  An overcast day in the northern midwest.

The Virago would be replaced by a new ride.  Well, ok, not a new ride.  Just one that's been waiting to be ridden for the last fifteen years.  An '83 Honda Nighthawk 650 I got for a song.  The Nighthawk and the Virago have been stablemates.

I've always been a fan of Honda.  Fit and finish.  Attention to detail.  Shaft drive.  Hydraulic clutch and lifters. An oil cooler.  Broad seat and amazingly well detailed instrumentation. (Clock?  We all wore watches back then.)  I'm definitely a shaft drive kinda guy.  But I'm too short for most Beemers.  And if I'm getting a Beemer it would be an opposed engine with the classic shaft final drive.  So what's a short guy to do?  Find a clean Honda Nighthawk and squirrel it away.

But as you can imagine, there are slight maladies percolating to the top each time I ride her.  Things to be sorted out.  Gremlins which creep into a well running machine stored away for far too long.  Things loosening from the simple onset of time. 

Yet each ride coaxes a deeper appreciation for this deep red machine.  Long and heavier than the 535 my old friend now has, I can see stretching her out on longer rides.   Time has been kind to this 1983 Honda Nighthawk.  It's an easy bike to get familiar with.  Something I can see myself looking forward to riding as much as the ride itself. 

Not every bike is this way, you know.  Some seem to work well enough until you find their replacements.  Others fit a time in your life better than others you've owned.  Some are dream machines you realize never really worked that well for you.

Is the Nighthawk one of the memoir-able bikes?  Or is it a stepping stone to a Beemer with a lowering kit?

Either way, time has been kind to this machine.  The Japanese standard in more ways than one.  What with all the retro-hype going on in the world it's hard to know if something is new or just old and immaculately kept.

Nostalgic?  Maybe.  Still, some old things just seem to gain appreciation against the backdrop of the present.

Harv

Monday, April 05, 2010

Licentious Woman

If you're newer to riding motorcycles you might not be familiar with the reference.  If you've been into Japanese motorcycles since the eighties there's a good chance you've heard someone use the term.  If you've owned Yamaha motorcycles and you like their previous iterations of cruisers then there's an excellent chance you know exactly the line of bikes I'm talking about.

I've been the proud owner of a "licentious woman" since the mid eighties.  A great bike for those of us shorter in stature.  Fantastic lines and the ability to cruise the boulevard, or as I put mine to use, to cruise the farmlands of southeastern Wisconsin at any pace I chose.

Theese machines have excellent lean angles.  Light weight makes their ample horsepower very much usable.  And when you hear that engine growl you can't help but smile.  They were shaft driven and carried a much larger rear tire than anything in their catagory.  The faux tanks above broad V twins (Yamaha had a thing about carrying its gas low down instead of where you normally would see the filler cap) helped lower the bikes' centers of gravity.  They were police-making-you-walk-the-straight-line stable but turned into any curve or switchback like a dream.  You always felt planted on these things.

My buddy Whitey took the bike on his licensing test.  I knew he wouldn't be back soon.  Better than two hours later, he returned.  Grinning like the cat that finally got the family parakeet.  I couldn't blame him.  Every person whose ridden that bike wants to keep riding it.

Jerry, a guy who lives and breathes Harley Davidson, lost his coil on a country ride we did one night.  I gave him the Yamaha to get the necessary part for a roadside repair and the same thing happened.  He returned apologetic.  Again, a couple hours later.

"Don't sell that bike Harv.  I've never ridden anything like it."

Today I reaquainted myself with what it's always been with that particular machine.  Back roads through farm land.  Twists and gently rising and falling hills.  Roads where I've always found the most enjoyment.  The Yamaha just felt so good.  The note of the two pipes, the slight whine of the shaft final drive.  A V twin in its proper element.  Expressways are for people needing to get somewhere.  Roads leading nowhere in particular are a destination in and of themselves.  They'll take you somewhere.  Eventually.  But the chances are better you'll enjoy what you see on the way that much more. 

The roads and a great bike.  In this case, an '87 Yamaha Virago 535 I bought new.  Someone once said it's the color of red wine.

Seems appropiate for a bike named the licentious woman...

Harv

Monday, March 08, 2010

Waiting for the Rain

When I was a budding young riding enthusiast I recieved an important piece of advice. It applies well to these northern midwest climes where sand and salt are used to clear the roads during the winter months.

An old experienced rider, my friend's father, once told me it was better to wait for the first heavy rains to clear debris off the roads. He told me about accidents which could have been prevented by simply riding to the conditions. But that most people are too excited to pay enough attention to roadway surfaces. He told me how roads which looked clear and passable turned out to be dangerous enough to cause slides and spinouts.

"Its like riding across fine marbles."

I can attest to this. A fine rider, an experienced rider once had such an episode right beside me. We were stopped at a county road tee intersection. Once traffic was clear I rolled into my left turn. But I heard acceleration to my my right, followed by a cacophony of grating sounds. Metal grinding hard on pavement. A brand new bike. Not even through the break in mileage yet.

My riding compadre juiced his larger displacement machine to pass me in a swift maneuver from a dead stop. Only the bike had no traction under the rear tire. He had his feet down for the stop but didn't know the rear tire rested on soft, pliable road grit. When he spun the throttle the bike wanted to launch forward but slid sideways. In an instant he was down.

We gathered ourselves and headed straight to my garaage to assess the damage as best we could. Luckily, only minor damage and one bruised ego. All this carnage simply due over acceleration from a dead stop!

I've thought about that incident each spring since it happened. I've been waiting just a little longer to hit the county roads. Conversations with fellow riders always include road conditions of the farm lands. The hinterlands, as we sometimes call them. From what I've been hearing, some places are still pretty sandy. More than a few riders are thinking it might be better to wait until traffic and weather clean most of that stuff away.

Riding is about anticipation. Irondad will tell you that better than I ever could. Conditions must be respected in order to see another day. The price paid against it is just too high.

So I'm waiting for the rain.

Harv

Thursday, March 04, 2010

C'est la Deux

This is the second part of a post about the first of two Vespa scooters. Or should I say, of the first Vespa finding a new home.

Granted I like two strokes to a degree. Just don't have the space to rebuild one anymore. For the foreseeable future, what amounts to a spaceous garage is showing its limitiations. You wouldn't think so, but it does. And with six year old twins, I really don't have the time to divide toward rebuilding it. You could say I've lost interest in this one. You'd be right.

Think of it as an item on the back burner. Something which has been there for a very long time. Long enough that it becomes a bane every time you see it suspended by the bench, waiting for you to pick up the tools to put it back together again.

Premix two stroke. In today's world. Injected two strokers seem outdated with all the environmental brouha. Imagine Puff the premix Magic Dragon, er Vespa, belching a blue haze wherever it went. In the past, people actually thought it was out of tune. In today's consciousness the sight of a motorized anything with a visible cloud behind it would probably get people talking. And not in a good way. I'm no environmentalist by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm aware of the current trends, or rather what I would call 'group think'.

So the old Vespa has gone away. A certain Yamaha Virago I bought new in '87 might soon follow. That would pare the motorcycles to three and scooters to one. Getting to more livable numbers. I'm not a collector. At least I never intended to be a collector. I just have a hard time parting with things which have made me happy in the past. Once in a while they seem to find their way back to me. I don't know how that happens but it does.

Maybe I shouldn't tell you that the name of the Virago is Christine.

Name ring a bell?


Harv

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

C'est la Vespa


As you noticed the bicycle bug has once again bitten me. Time for a more family oriented machine. Something with an easy upright riding position. Something to toodle around the neighborhood on. Or take leisurely long rides on one of these new fangled converted asphalted train beds. Seems everyone pedaling looks happy when I ride or drive past. I used to ride all the time. I've been missing it.

Back in Europe certain bikes have been a mainstay for generations. Known as commuter or utility bicycles, they offer very upright seating positions and usually some sort of carrying capacity. They wear long fenders, real purpose built mudguards. The Dutch versions of the design actually became known simply as the Dutch bicycle. On one hand Dutch bikes last forever. Usable heirlooms. And they weigh as much too. On another, you can't find replacement tires for them without ordering a set from across the pond. Somehow though, they look weirdly right.

Not to say that other European countries didn't create beautiful machines, they did. But here in the U.S. these seem to be the boutique bikes. Collectors look for them, hence the prices rise. And parts prices increase too.

Somewhere in the middle of all European offerings reside the Brit bikes. They were considered daily riders. Middle class masses used them to get to work until they could afford cars. Raleigh and Rudge. The epitomy of the basic design. The more I'd seen pictures of them the more I seemed to remember a few of them around the area where I grew up.

The old Schwinns hold the same lines as, say, a Raleigh Sports. But finding them always seems to make people selling them think they're collector's gold. They were great products in their day but comparatively speaking they were just good standard products. An old Schwinn can be tuned up and ridden for the rest of a rider's life, they're that well built. The good news is they're everywhere. Hey, if you find one you like and the price is too high or the color isn't the one you always wanted, a little patience will likely bring you just what you were after.


Huffy, once a big player in the States, also made its share of commuter, or utility bicycles. Before you run out and buy one for some warm season riding, take a good look at the welds on Huffy frames. Now that the paint on these bikes is well aged or scratched, the poor welding is better seen. Too often made as quickly as possible with little (or no?) quality control. And I'm talking about the Huffys made right here in the good ol' U.S.

Now I would go for just about any utility bicycle. I like them all. The problem I have is I'm not what you'd call average height. Standover height (the tube from the seat post to the handlebar) probably means more to me than most. I had to pass many bikes for that simple reason. They were too tall.

I found a potential candidate on Craigslist. I called and the seller measured it out for me. He told me these particular bikes came in three sizes. That this one was the smallest they made. We talked and I learned he was into Czech scooters. I mentioned the Vespas. That one of them has been apart for years and I was either going to sell it as is or build it and just move on. He asked me what I wanted for it. We struck a tentative deal.

When he came over with his trailer he brought a 1972 Raleigh Superbe. Dark green. The in-hub generator lit both fore and rear lights. The Sturmey Archer three speed internal hub functioned just as it should and the bike, for all its weight, glided down my street like any other bike I've ridden. The original leather Brooks sprung saddle isn't cracked. I don't know that it's ever been truly broken in. It retains the shape they all do when they're new. Oh, the pump is mounted in the frame and it works.

He looked at body of that old GL and whistled. He looked at the boxes of parts and whistled again. But he smiled. We loaded up his new scooter and talked like old friends. I watched as he drove off. A very old Vespa frame secured to the front of a trailer, on the way to its new home.

The sun was out. Bright skies. Temps in the mid twenties. And there in the shadows of the garage was a classic old bike. My new old bike; full length matched paint fenders, upright deep chrome handlebars and a giant headlight nacelle in which I can actually see my reflection.

I pumped up the tires, checked her over and took her for a little spin.

No, she doesn't remind me of the Vespa. Or a motorcycle. She's wholly her own experience. Surprisingly easy to pedal. I can't emphasize this enough. From the first downward pedal stroke the old Raleigh just glides down the road.

Just another aspect of two wheeled happiness.

Harv

Monday, February 01, 2010

Thoughts During Hybernation


Its the first of February. Light snow is coming down. A good friend called me this morning to touch base and see how things were.

"How've you been?"
"Good."
"The family?"
"Good."
"You?"
"Same."

Then the conversation began to take its natural direction.

"So I was talking to this guy I used to know..."

And we're back to where we like to be. Discussing the ins and outs of bikes of today and bikes of bygone eras. Rides we're planning and places within a day's travel for two guys on early to mid eighties UJM's (universal Japanese motorcycles). He's got an early eighties Kawasaki 900 and I've got my Virago and my wife's '83 Nighthawk 650.

Somewhere in the conversation I interject something to see what his reaction might be. The fact that the bicycle bug has once again bit me. He's right into the groove. He lives within walking distance of the Lake Wobegon Trail (see Garrison Keilor and his fictitious tales of the town where all the women are pretty, al the men handsome and all the kids are above average). Its a MUP (multi use path-mostly paved nowadays) and it also happens to be about the same distance from my farm twenty miles west of here. I think total mileage for the trail and all its branches is close to 150 miles. We're planning to get our families together and spend some days riding bicycles together.

I've always had the desire to ride. Whether it was motorized or not. Something about two wheels and a place to ride has been a kind of balm for me. Pedaling in silence. Or the drone of an engine beneath me. To many others they aren't the same, but to me they are.

So I'm waiting on spring. To bring out the Vespas and the motorcycles but also the non motorized two wheelers. A dedicated road bicycle and just recently a very Americanized version of a standard bicycle. Fenders, chain guard, a pull back handlebar for very upright riding. You might wonder why a guy whose got a drop bar road bike would ever want a standard slow-bike.

Last year my kids learned to ride their bicycles. The Giant OCR3 can roll with just the slightest tailwind. I would coast past them with nary a downward pedal while they worked just to keep up with me. And the hunched over riding position is not intended for the child's world of constant discovery. We'd pedal six feet and.. "Oh look!" A grasshopper!" Fifteen feet later, "What kind of inchworm is that, daddy?" Any bike that has you bent into a comma is not designed to be used with little children. Trust me.

Its good to be thinking about spring. Its good to have something new to look forward to, also.

Harv

Monday, November 02, 2009

Time for a Break

When you write a blog there isn't really a time frame in terms of length of posts or months or years (has it been that long?) you can keep writing . What I mean is, you can keep doing it as long as you like. As long as it holds your interest. No one tells you when to begin, and no one tells you when to punch the proverbial time clock.

The rides are as good as they've ever been. In fact, through the riding group I'm involved with, there seems to be a fairly local discovery of some roads just off the beaten path of a main artery I've written about in the past. Highway 9 out of Avon.

Getting on two wheels is always a refreshing experience. A revitalizing internal thing. Yet writing feels like it's beginning to become harder and harder not to rehash each ride into the same general experiences.

To me they're always new. But there are only so many ways you can rewrite how good it makes you feel just to be out there. To feel the bike underneath you. To hear the unique drone of that little Vespa engine as you wander toward the best riding roads.

I'm not the type of person with a need to refresh the experience of riding in some new way just to keep the joy in it. I'm content where I am. I'm content with who I am. While I'd certainly like to be able to ride more, I wouldn't trade what fills my life in place of riding for it.

So I'll lay this little page in the ether on hold. Maybe until the spring. Unless something really good just has to be shared.

May your lust for the road be matched by the steed that carries you

Harv

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

When You're Prepared


When you're prepared you can do many things, I've learned. Its all the rehearsal before the stage lights come on that makes the experience so worthwhile. No matter what you do, its preparedness that allows you to think more clearly in the face of adversity.

I've been playing the saxophone since the late seventies. From the days that my parents had to insist that I play for half an hour each day to playing as long as time would allow. Its been a great musical life. But it all started with learning perseverence.

You might think that playing that long might make me feel like I've accomplished something. That I've arrived. Nothing could be further, as they say. What its gotten me is a tenacity to keep at things until I break through. My sound has definitely evolved. My style, changed so many times as I'd learn new things that playing to fit the music seems natural. Its a skill that evolves the more you play.

This is not unlike that machine I put away this evening. Wet and cold. A steady light rain and a temp into the thirties during an indirect meandering home after the meeting with our scooter group.

I would not have tested the weather if that tenacity and pure desire to ride were not instilled in me from a young age. But I prepared myself. (Over time, just as I had with the saxophone.) Mainly for the cooler air though the rain never got to me.

There is something inherantly fun about riding a scooter in the rain. I don't know what it is, but it just seems like legshields and floorboards were made for this type of weather. Pin a sizeable windshield to the thing and you've got a pretty serious foul weather repellant form of two wheel transportation.

It takes time to learn the proper combination for you the individual. What's too warm or too drafty for seasonal riding where you live? Questions we ask ourselves.

But why would anyone take that much time to put on that much gear just to ride in cold or wet weather?

Ask someone who loves to ride. Enough to find the right gear in order to prolong the riding seaon. That person will tell you its worth it. Something about seeing the changing seasons from the saddle of that favorite two wheeler. So what if its cold. Or wet. If there's better gear made for inclement weather, that rider will tell you.

Sometimes its trial and error. Sometimes the right combination of clothing is already in the hall closet. The end of the summer riding season is a great time of year to bring a few extras along for the ride. Change into them when dusk falls and see how well they work. An extra sweat shirt or an added liner for example. Overpants or long underwear. Definitely a personal choice. (Or both!)

Still, you get the best idea of how cold or wet weather riding gear will work for you when you use it for the longer rides. Because you get comfortable on the longer rides. You... settle into the spirit of the ride when its more than just a few miles. Short rides don't really provide much information on gear and that includes how well the bike works for distance treks. I think the shorter rides are indicators giving an idea of how clothes might work or feel, but settling into a long ride is as much a state of mind as anything else.

Oh, before I forget, I should point this out:

There is no perfect gear. There is very good gear and there is gear you can get very comfortable in, but you sort of have to, I don't know, come to terms with the few shortcomings you might discover. It might mean a quick duct tape wrap on a fold to stop a draft from shooting up your sleeve. (You can solve that problem if you know someone who can sew velcro to the wrist of a jacket for example) It could mean buying those thicker socks you would only use to ride. But those are small investments to extend your fun into the cooler weather won't be regrettable efforts. The ride is worth it.

A little over a week ago I began the ritual of digging through all the old winter riding gear. I acquired more than I thought over the years! And other than needing new heavy socks, everything else fit the bill. Sure, I was overdressed for hanging out at a coffee shop. But I wasn't over dressed for the ride home. Which certainly wasn't by the direct route.

What I haven't told you yet is that I'm usually one of the first to arrive at the coffee house for our Wednesday Night Rides. I didn't expect anyone to ride to the meeting (save Colin-man of steel) since I didn't check the weather and it had started to drizzle at immediately the moment I crossed from my driveway onto the street. Imagine my triumphant joy at seeing Chauncy, Zuma and Colin arrive on two wheels. Besides these brave souls, Sam, and the Dibbers also came. I'm guessing they fit the meeting in along with other responsibilites or they also would have ridden. I really don't see anyone in this group shy about riding when the weather changes.

We had a good meeting. We talked and laughed and passed Keith's new Scoot magazine around. Ideas for next season's runs were tossed into the fray. Keith has always got great ideas for rides. Be they long or short, he's an excellent organizer and really knows how to get the group involved in the planning.

I guess its easier to plan what to wear when you've planned for the ride, eh?


Harv

Friday, October 09, 2009

American Highway


My family had the good fortune to take a vacation in Disney World. Since I no longer get on (or in) planes under any circumtances I chose to drive. My wife, kids and in laws got there in just over two hours. I got there in about two days. Its a little over sixteen hundred miles by car. I loved it.

Now I considered taking one of the bikes. The Harley would have been the first choice since its a decent tourer by my own standards. But the family thought I could bring along more luggage with the car so the '98 Camry did the task. I even had the advantage of a Garmin lent to me for the trip. A surprising little tool so long as you program it correctly.

More often than not I drive a car in silence. Whether the distance is long or short. Conversation usually just flows from me but when I drive I must be trying to get as close to the riding experience as possible. That's what my wife thinks anyway. I'm sure she's right. She likes to take naps when I drive. I'm a very predictable driver.

So the drive from St Cloud Minnesota to Orlando Florida was a vacation in itself. Heavy rains through Atlanta. My first time actually doing the driving through that city.

When you hit Florida you think, based upon everyone whose visited the ocean, that the state is as flat the waters that surround it. But once you hit the turnpike toll road you realize there's more to the beatiful state than just year round summer weather and palm trees.

I saw roads sweeping away from main arteries which made me think about getting a scooter trailer. I could fulfill luggage duty for my family and take advantage of my night owl proclivities . A quiet Vespa prowling tropical tree lined Florida byways. The memories I would have. Warm summer nights in the dead of winter.

I thought about those roads as I began the return home last Saturday. I thought about hundreds more as I passed them in Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky. For a northerner with his roots in the snow its pretty amazing to think about people riding comfortably in autumn clothing after September. I drove silently into Wisconsin and yet another reason begged me to think hard about a scooter trailer.

A river seperates Minnesota from Wisconsin. The bridges I've seen are all posted at highway speeds and traffic flows at even higher rates. An LX150 is at its limit around 65-70mph. While the bike can ride wide open throttle on country roads devoid of steady traffic, its nearly a death wish to pin the throttle down and try to keep up with cars treating you as an obstruction and an obsenity. A GTS 250 would solve it. It can attain and keep speeds to seventy and above. But I love the bike I have. Getting over the river is just an obstacle to overcome safely.

Four days on the road by myself. The return trip was the more enjoyable one. Recalling things you saw on the way down, for instance. And it never quite looks the same as it does while you're getting there.

I find the road a quiet personal pleasure. A solace. You're moving but you're still. I think I wrote that somewhere once before, but it warrants writing again. Its a big country with a million sights to see and interesting roads from which to see them.

My family loved the resort and their vacation.

Me, I most loved the distance between A and B.

I can't help it. I'm a road bum.

Harv

Monday, September 21, 2009

Clutch Not Brake

They say you can never go home again. The point being that the distant past can never truly move forward into the present. You can't get there from here.

It all started with a 50cc Honda scooter a few years ago. A 1978 Honda Express in a bright, very lime, green. A diminuitive machine with a top regulated speed of 27mph. They look more like bicycles than motor scooters. And if you take them for what they are you find yourself weirdly enamored by them.

My father in law had a rented storage unit. It was on the edge of the small town nearest his farm. A space filled with all the oddities we seem to keep in the indecision of possibly needing someday and throwing out. Furniture, hoses, you name it. Property purgatory.

I helped him clear the unit out. That's when I saw it. Hidden by sheets of plywood and stacks of wooden chairs. A cobwebbed old scooter which had been through better days. But everything was there. As far as I could tell anyway. Quietly, patiently waiting for someone to bring it back to life.

I dug into it with the advice of a few friends. Dan, who lives in my hometown guided me by phone while Loren, whose ability to breathe life into mechanical things always amazes me, came to my rescue here.

"Well I think there's supposed to be another part in there, there." Loren would say.
"You should be seeing something that looks like such and such between the lorkin cable and the stiction valve," said Dan.

I said, What?

The scooter was showing more and more of its internal glory by the day. Loren had the exhaust to reweld the aftermarket "flow derestrictors" drilled into it. I examined this, poked at that and became more familiar with this most basic of internal combustion engine designs. Little things about two stroke engines started to come back to me. I remembered that I actually liked points back in the day. Saw them as a challenge. Only because I reset them to factory specs. I knew how little I really knew.

Before long the Express was running and road legal. I tooled along the country roads outside my neighborhood. A hint of blue smoke marked my passing. It was glorious. Even if it was the slowest motorized two wheeler I'd ever ridden, it was fun getting up to thirty plus mph on the slopes. Even if it meant huffing like the little engine that could just to crest them. Each ride would end in a little fine tuning. Tensioning spokes if nothing else.

Then I heard that the new Vespas were also constant variable transmission. Auto-scooters which could really get you up to travelling speeds. An LX150 found a home in my garage.

But the maintenance seems more involved than I would like. CVT belts and rollers need to be checked and replaced regularly. About every four thousand miles on the rollers, six to seven thousand on the belt. Let me put it another way. I don't look forward to what it takes to do that maintenance. You need to move or remove quite a bit just to get to the valves, for instance. The whole engine/transmission assembly needs to be detached from the rear shock and tilted, just so you can get the valve cover off to check them. Its the maze ahead of the cheese that gets old.

So why not a four stroke Vespa? Or something reasonably close to that design? Stellas came close but they've been two strokes until now. Hot plugs, soft siezing... They sound magnificent when they're running but I'm no longer interested in the fiddling required of two strokes.

Then I read about the new four stroke Stella and I thought, This, this is the scooter I've been waiting for. Four standard gears and a clutch, four stroke engine and the basic iconic silhouette of the classic Vespa's evolution. The engine is on the right, where I can easily get to it. And the belt and rollers are history.

Maybe coming home needs to be a blend. A proper mix of the best of the past with this moment. I'm hoping the upcoming 4T Stella might be that bike for me.

Harv

Friday, September 18, 2009

Just Around the Corner

Autumn rides. When you live far enough north that parts of Canada are actually south of you, you begin to cherish these waning days of warmth. You learn to appreciate getting the time to put some tarmac between you and the tires. The forests are changing from their deep green hues to golds, reds and orange. Leaves are beginning to blow free of their hold in the dense cover of summer. A little now, but more each week. Before too long you'll be looking up and seeing the dark bark of hardwood and squirrels scampering to hide food for the winter months.

Have you ever parked by the side of the road just to watch the animals through the trees of a hardwood forest? The kinds of woods that you know were hewn back so the road could be cut through them? Ancient oaks swaying, creaking in the vacuumed silence created by shutting down the bike's engine. The natural world makes all sorts of strange noises.

The air takes on a crispness. Its as though you can smell the change coming. Critters are preparing to hunker down and they're grabbing all the available edible foliage, nuts and tubers they can find.

And you've got to dress for these rides. Not just the safety gear but maybe a sweater, or the thicker gloves. Fog on the visor.

My wife tells me that I somehow manage to radiate both extreme hot and extreme cold upon returning from the colder of these Fall season rides. I dunno, I just feel really great when I get back home.

No matter where you are, there's something about getting the rides in before the bad weather comes to stay. Snow drifts and icy roads, a foreboding memory of last year's winter serves to remind us to take the time while we can.

I've written enough. Time for a ride.

Harv

Monday, September 14, 2009

Oh No, Not Again

I've been reading motorcycle magazines for as long as I could remember. When other kids were into Hot Rod I was reading Cycle World, Motorcyclist and the now defunct Cycle. Others read Mad and Cracked, I read Cartoons magazine. Somewhere in my posession is a box chock full of old Cartoons issues. Crass and Bernie, Ellefson's creative cartoons. I had Evel Knievel stunt motorcycles. Even went as the guy for Halloween one year.

My parents tolerated my friends bringing small displacement motorcycles over and "tuning" them in their garage. Mini bikes, two stroke enduros. Harley Sprints. Seemed like any given week would find something under four hundred cc's with a story to tell, somewhat torn apart in my parents' garage. We learned about points. We learned about a lot of motorcycle oriented mechanicals by stumbling through trial and error. Sometimes it was frustrating but it was always worth it in the end.

I write this because I did the belt and rollers on the LX150 this morning. Normal maintenance, yet in some way it feels like more than should be necessary. Its a bit of a job to do an auto transmission on these modern bikes. Still a little foreign feeling to me. Odd.

Granted I had the bike up to about 50mph on the country lanes outside my neighborhood , but it wasn't far. Everything feels as it should. Still, I wouldn't mind a four stroke shifty scooter. Only because after years of wishing for one, Genuine Scooter Co. is going to have one out later this year. Less maintenance. Or an excuse to get something new?

I must be in that mode or something. You know the one. You have some unyet unspoken desire to have something new but you just don't know what.

So I visited the Honda motorcycles site and noticed they're releasing a machine that almost made me fall out of my chair when the page opened up. A 700cc liquid cooled V twin with shaft final drive. Built in saddle bags. Its a mid sized touring bike. Honda quality throughout.

So I'm torn. Another scooter, albeit something I would really like and that I could easily afford versus something which could take me out of scooters in an instant if it delivers the way Honda always seems to. The Stella would be less than half the cost of the Honda NT 700.

But I want the Honda more.

Need to find a way to get there from here.

Harv

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Bruno's Basket

The names have been changed in this post, not because the innocent need protection, but because often times, posting on the internet leaves room to be creative. There isn't a BigStickBob who claims some government position, where revealing his identity would risk the safety of thousands in a beaurocratic pyramid of files and personal data. No Warehouse 13, whose propriators secretly engage in protecting the world's most precious artifacts from amoral power mongers but really wish they had the time to ride scooters.

Nope. This is about friends and the coolest little dog you ever saw. Bruno.

Bruno is the buddy of a rider who goes by the moniker Tomcat. A big fellow with a natural calm about him. Sometimes he'll show up at the Wednesday night rides on his olive Stella and other times its an '81 red and white Honda CT70.

There's a basket where a human passenger would normally sit. This is Bruno's place. A milk crate.. sort of. Well it resembles a milk crate but not entirely. Elongated. You get the idea. Bruno is the same make and model as the dog on Frasier. (wink)

There's Prisonprincess. No, she not there for "conjugal visits". She's a nurse at the local state penn. Had a Honda 250 and just bought a Burgman 400. She pickes it up Friday and we're all exited to see her new baby. She's been coming to the coffee house even though she's been between bikes for a little while. I wish more folks felt that way. That they would know they're welcome for the simple reason they like scooters. Or simply because they like to ride.

Zumascoot. This is her first season on a scooter and she's got the bug. She grew up riding mini and dirt bikes. You have to love a girl like Zuma'. Like the sister I never had.

Chauncy comes into the evening ride a bit later. But that's because I spotted him cruising to Byerly's for a caramel apple midnight snack. Chaunc' rides a black Genuine Buddy.

The ride

We meet at a coffee house outside the local mall. Sometimes people ask us questions about our scooters. Sometimes, like last week, we meet people like a local photographer named Josh, riding his '75 BMW R6.

I was early and Prisonprincess appeared by car. She told me the good news and and just beamed. You could not avoid that twinkle in her eyes. She was so elated she bought me a coffee!

Zuma rolled up and the three of us talked about bikes and then came Tomcat with Bruno in his his crate. Smiling as only a dog can. We talked for a bit in case anyone might be late in coming and then headed to Dairy Queen. We met someone Tomcat used to know, riding a big displacement Honda cruiser. Hello, nice to meet you, see you again some time. Then it was off to ride the river road through St Cloud. We stopped at Wilson park. The sun had long gone to bed and we looked at the light from the Hospital shimmering on the gentle current of the Mississippi. Off again. North. Construction made us detour but we came back to it and Tomcat mentioned his niece works at a local fast food joint. And we had to stop because she will often ride a Honda Hobbit.

Well you have to see things like that even if the chances are small. As luck would have it, Frodo or one of his relatives must have been using it. She had her car. Nice kid. A lot like her uncle. We talked a while, snapped a few pics and "doodled" around the back streets of St cloud. I caught Chauncy riding to Byerly's and Tomcat and Zuma took off after him. We talked for a bit and could see how tired the old boy was. We bid him good night and hung out in the lot, just enjoying a great night of commeraderie and riding.

Oh, and Bruno? By the end of the night he let himself doze off in his basket, assured I guess, that we were alright.

I think he approved of us.

Harv

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Old and New

About six years ago my neighbor made a deal on an old motorcycle from a friend. Being the type of father he is, his intention was to keep the bike until his boys were old enough to ride. But the boys chose to get into other things and the bike languished in his shed. One day I saw the machine in his garage and asked him about it. Floyd knows how I hate to see a grand old machine rust into uselessness and gave me one of those Sicilian offers. One you cannot refuse.
I brought Annette over to look at the bike and she was enthusiastic about it. A few days later it was forty feet further north, in my garage.

Its a black breadloaf tanked Japan bred cafe racer. Factory stock (just the way I like them) right down to the near perfect chrome exhausts. Five spoke painted aluminum rims trimmed with exposed surface edges. A slim bike with hair brush pin striping accenting the tank and tail piece. A meek 550cc's by today's standards, it was as good a choice as any sub 750 on the market in 1980.

I called a buddy of mine to tell him about the bike. I don't know what came over me but we struck a trade and I let him have it for what I payed for it. He brought a trailer, took it home and after a period of a few days called me to let me hear it run.

Something comes over me when I hear an old eighties bike breathe and run again. Just the idle is enough to put a twinkle in my eye. There's the sound of the transmission, the sound of the valves. Something distinct and unassuming about that era of machines. Not necessarily a lot of continuity in appearance, the amazing attention to functional and mechanical detail made up for their sometimes quirky looks. They were meant to be ridden.

We intended to ride together since the spring. Long before this bike entered the picture. But his kids and my kids are at and near the same ages so family and our schedules often mismatched our free time.

The other night we finally made up for that. His wife came home and he headed back into town to my place. 11:30 pm and we were just about rolling out of my driveway.

A note about Loren: He's a night owl. And he loves to ride. So am I. Consequently both of us really enjoy the sounds of stock pipes and overall very quiet motorcycles.

Most people like to sleep during the night. Its easier on the eyes I guess.

We slipped through town and over the Mississippi. Taking the east river road we threaded our way down the twisy two lane that weaves past the river for miles. Beautiful homes with immaculate yards and dim accent lighting. The moon shimmering off the big river which can always be seen as you pass. Tall old hardwoods hanging over us, the fog just beginning to form in some of the valleys of the roadway. Forty miles an hour at a low hum as heard from the saddles of a scooter and a motorcycle.

We made it to a little town which sprang up by a main state highway (or maybe they built the highway because the town was there, I don't know) and stopped to top off and enjoy some gas station coffee. A lady pulled up next to us and could not turn away from the Vespa. She asked the usual questions and at one point I thought she was going to reach down and hug it. After she drove off waving, Loren commented, "You told me stuff like that happens. Now I actually saw it." We both laughed.

We rode in the direction of my farm. Because you can catch a great motorcycle road not far from there and its parallels the Mississippi all the way to Little Falls. Charles Lindbergh grew up there. I don't know why I'm telling you this other than its a neat fact. And you pass a couple museums dedicated to him when you reach the south end of the city from this direction. I always mean to stop there but can't seem to beg myself off the bike as I pass the compound of buildings and sites dedicated to him.

We stopped again. SuperAmerica. Fog was in the headlight beams nearly fifty percent of the time. It was getting a bit cooler. Out in the open countryside temps were somewhere around the low fifties. Some of the valleys might have touched the low forties, I would guess. Not shivering cold, but we were definitely gliding through a steady brisk chill.

I saw what might be the dumbest thing I have seen in a while. Didn't notice it at first but Loren was waiting for me to see it.

Conveniently situated side by side were the grated gas grill propane cylinder container and the ashtray/refuse container. I have nothing to say.

We drank up, warmed again and hit the road back south to home. The long sweeping bends, hills and valleys, seemed like riding on glass this time around. I could hear the slight whine of Loren's bike behind me. See his headlight in my mirrors. The new moon gave a crystaline blue hue to the crop fields to the west and a deep dark blue to the Mississippi on our left. Light sparkling off the gentle waves.

We rode that way back to the tee intersection, split off and made our respective ways home. It was nearly three o'clock in the morning when the Vespa's engine was finally shut off for the night. Hearing the cooling tick made me stop as I entered the house. I listened to it for another moment.

Somewhere in a garage about twenty miles away, another guy was doing the same thing. Listening to an old 1980 Kawasaki KZ550 slowly cool down.

Revived machine, revived rider.

Harv

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Balance

When you're the father of six year old twins you have to set priorities. That doesn't mean you give up what you love, it means you look for a proper balance.

In the spring I had one of those wonderful father moments. I had the privelege of teaching the kids to ride their bicycles sans training wheels. It took all of a day.

We have a bit of a sloped driveway. I moved the car to the far side of the drive and told them to let themselves coast at an angle across the tar toward the lawn., Once they felt the bike balance, begin pedaling and then when they hit the grass pedal hard and keep the machine moving. They picked up on it very quickly. Smiles and determination left longer and longer streaks across the yard. It made me proud to see them achieve their goals.

When you believe in something you can envision a profound sense of possibility. You begin to look for the creative ways which might help make the goal you believe you can achieve a reality.

I knew I would ride when the opportunities came.

Would that I could say I've had the time to write about those trips. They've been less often because of the necessary balance currently influencing my life, but they have been great. ANd I've noticed something which I sort of left in the back of my thoughts these last several years.

The best rides are the long rides. You go through so many thought cycles over so much distance. Contemplating everything from the balance in your relationships to the balance of the world you live in.

Between those thoughts though, there's that stillness. That peacefully quiet state of being. The hills rise before you, then they drift away beneath you. The path may run straight for innumerable miles or it may seem to coil back upon itself. But its become a friend. Like those rare relationships which simply accept us as we are.

We should treat the open road the same as it treats us. Its indifferent to its users but its also quite an example of what you see is what you get. In other words, pay close attention. Assumed expectations make demands which usually dredge up confusion. Why did this thing happen between us? Maybe we just weren't paying enough attention.

Relationships aren't limited to human or animal interaction. They exist in everything we do because we treat everything with some level of expection. Living things, inanimate things and most importantly to the rider, The Road.

Management of actions. Balance.

I chose to take the time I had to ride. It can take me a while to put things into words because I take what I write with some degree of seriocity. (see? Me not real good wit da funny funnys)

I ride for balance. I ride because of balance. I wait to ride out of respect for balance.

Just as passing through the city to get to the uninhibited country lanes has always been the effort required to set my rider's spirit free, its merely a matter of a little more time between rides to get me on that saddle again. Nothing more than the joyfully acceptable requirement any father with young children understands.

And the school year is right around the corner... (wink)

Harv

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Kids Grow Up

This has been a different year for me. My twins are now six. Taught them to ride bicycle in the matter of a day. Well ok, maybe it wasn't quite that quickly but bending up the training wheels and telling my daughter that she's really only riding when the rattle of the outriggers goes away certainly helped.

When you have children its no constraint to put their needs and wants above your own. To be there with them and your wife as the family you are. They know that we are more important to each other than any inanimate object. Just as important a lesson for me as for them. It grounds us.

Wacky weather here in the northern midwest has made it a little easier, no doubt. Not to say that there haven't been days when I would have liked to have been on the bike, but as things change you tend to appreciate each of those little gems in life a bit more. The kids, my best friend and of course the rides.

Which brings me to an interesting change in my riding habits.

When I had what I thought was more time, I took more rides but they were shorter. Now that I seem to be more aware of who needs what and to what degree, the rides have gotten considerably longer. Breathing more deeply.

Its something of a return to my very old ways. When I was younger I earned the nickname Marathon Harv. One story from those single carefree (but not better just different) days began with a late Friday night get together of a group of riding buddies. We met at karl's house in Waukesha county WI and they agreed that I should lead.

Now this was long before GPS. Maps still folded out into impossibly large sheets of squiggly lines. Rivers and state parks were often the main feature. Squiggly lines without reference to road construction but detailed enough to help the sojourner find a lonely motel somewhere between here and there.

We met at Karl's with steaks, hamburger meat and bratwursts stuffed into our riding jackets. The grill was fired up while friends and girlfriends trickled in off Davidson Road. Once the sun dipped below the horizon the sky's sparkle began to shine with countless stars. It had a depth. You know how it is when you look up there on a clear night and it seems like some things are closer than others? How the Milky Way seems closer than other stars and clusters of stars? That's how that night was. The moon was clear and bright. I recall so many of those nights.

We talked about the direction we'd like to head. The pace and the types of roads we wanted to be on this night. For some reason only beknownst to the heavens they decided to let me lead. Someone handed me a map while eyes peered over my shoulders. Someone made the joke "Go west young man!" and wordlessly we all agreed. I chose a back door route past the quiet city streets of Waukesha and said, "From there I'm playing it by ear".

Time seemed to slip away. Roads bathed in the high beams of UJM's (universal Japanese motorcycles) flooded open fields on every bend, exiting millions of fireflies to their eery green yellow glow. If you haven't ridden southeastern Wisconsin on a hot summer night its one of those things you don't appreciate until you see it. It looks like waves of tiny Christmas lights blinking across grey black fields. I don't know how else to describe it.

The serenity of the ride, the peaceful hum of the bikes behind me just kept me rolling forward. I had no idea to where or how far I was taking us. We stopped at an all night gas station but no one questioned the time. At least no one said anything to me. So we kept going.

Signs annoucing towns who inhabitants numbered in the low hundreds. Unencorporated.

Weather beaten barns and horses resting in the fields. The sheen of dew glinting from every surface.

Go west young man.

I don't recall any sign telling me we were anywhere near Madison. But we passed the city at some point. And so we came to a river. And we stopped at the bridge crossing the river. A hush was over us. The mood was peaceful. Satisfied. We parked the bikes, opened our sodas and lit our smokes. Scotty broke the silence with a question.

"What the hell river is this?"

He walked up the bridge to a sign on the far side. From the distance we heard the exclamation.

"The Mississippi?? The freakin Mississippi?? He took us to... You took us all the way to the freakin' Mississippi!!!"

I opened my mouth but could only repeat "I... I... " I shrugged and held my hands up.

Someone hollered to Scott that it sure didn't take us that long to get there. He stopped, looked up at the moon and just shook his head.

"Next time..." Said Scotty upon return, his index finger making his point to all of us, "Next time Marathon Harv here, leads us, make sure we have a place we're actually going to. Someplace to arrive or else god only knows where we'll end up."

And you know, I've wondered that a few times this summer...

Harv

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Hand in Hand

Inspiration is the appeal of some ethereal connection a person finds outside themselves, to something else. An influence on life and perspective. Inspiration can focus a person's goals while it sheds the less important clutter we accumulate. Most of which we hardly realized we've been giving space to, until something inspires us to reevaluate if we're on track with who we intend to be and where we intend to be going.

The Emotional and the Physical. Seems like it takes a jarring life experience to move you off center. Some dramatic influence you can't control, pushing you right off your feet. Often it hurts emotionally. Some of us internalize the pain while others lash out without even realizing it. Others draw back until the storm subsides. Till the waters become calm again.

If you're a rider you tend to react to emotional sizemic shift by finding a direction and heading into it. You ask all your questions to the universe, to your god or even your dead relatives in the the free blowing wind. Its something fairly difficult to explain to a non rider regarding why we ride. Everyone wants soundbite answers to everything nowadays.

Non riders see us in it for the exitement. The truth is, we do it for the fulfillment. Going fast doesn't solve it for us. We're not necessarily looking for a head rush. Closed tracks are meant for head rushes. We're finding fulfillment. You would know this but try to explain to a non rider that riding is to us the initiated, our quiet time. You couldn't put it past them. No way they would believe it. That the rider in motion is the spirit at rest.

People who dabble in bikes don't get it either. Its not a hobby and no, you don't "get it". What you're looking for is somewhere else. Not that the rest of us begrudge you riding, but in all honesty, the image you think is legitimate is hung over us like droll humor on last year's runway models. Perpetuated by a non riding public assuming it understands when it doesn't. That's not anyone's fault, but it is a misperception.

Put another way, the bikes I ride sound like music to me. Moreso because I'm a blues musician. Love the blues. Been playing sax since the seventies as a kid. I didn't realize how lucky I was to be playing with a group whose talent and sense thereof was piqued to every player and note we produced. You couldn't just join. You auditioned. You showed your stuff and then you were placed. A year down the road you were reevaluated. We were about the music. We had to play it at its level, not the other way around. And we had to improvise. Not unlike riding safely.

The sax and the bike are skills to be learned. But it takes a certain amount of talent to use either of them well. Newer musicians think about the exitement of playing in front of a live audience. Non riders think about thrills and spills. The uninitiated only see the end results of attempts at music and riding ability. The unwashed imagine the David Sanborns, the concerts. They flip the cable channels and see people performing stunts and sometimes failing at them. Exitement. Adrenaline.

But riding and playing music aren't about that. They fill a need. They satisfy something deeper. Long term. For me riding is a near uninhibited time of contemplation. Phrasing ideas into coherent thoughts, useful in interaction with others. And music focusses my mind emotionally. Playing jazz and blues really lets me see how the inner guy is doing. Without having to ask him. Fullfillment. Peace.

Harv

This piece is dedicated to Micheal Savage, who discussed the subjects of exitement versus fulfillment the other night. The yacht. The bay.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Back in the Saddle

I've been wallowing in a bit of self pity. I didn't even realize it. Somehow I let other things in my life take precendence and lost sight of what makes me, well, me. Last night my wife took one look at me and told me to go ride.

I never really noticed how much the scooter has become the favorite of the stable. Something about that machine is better than the others. It doesn't have more power than the others. It doesn't have the image of a true motorcycle. Its a conglomeration of things I prefer and things which might not be as favorable as some aspects of a full on motorcycle. I know. I've got a Yamaha Virago, Honda Nighthawk and Harley Sportster to compare it to. Yet its ride is more individualistic than anything the true road machines can provide.

Last night I donned the helmet after reaquainting myself with my Corrazo 5.0 riding jacket. Hein Gericke gauntlets (not the newer line, these have been with me for over twenty years and not a stitch is out of place) pulled up near mid forearm just felt right. Again.

You can change a lot in your life but some things ought never to be lost. Sure, priorities can be rearranged slightly to fit the needs of a period in one's life, but never lose sight of who you are. Never give up that which defines you.

I've heard more than a few friends tell me they've lost who they once were. I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in their wives' eyes. Once you sacrifice some intrinsic piece of yourself for the sake of others, eventually you resent yourself for never returning to who you were before you commited that selfless act for the love or needs of others. Even though it was the right thing to do, eventually times change and times of need pass. Just as a baseball game has two sides taking turns swinging their bats to score, eventually each team has to stand in the outfield and recieve the ball.

Seems like a minor thing, just to ride. But for many of us who blog about riding, its central to our very nature. It changes us in ways our spouses and friends probably see better than we can. It makes us more whole in some way. When Annette looked at me it was with the recognition of a best friend who knows what you need when you begin to drift off your center. You need to ride. Those were her words.

The busy heat of the day was settling for sumptous cooler air with long shadows across country roads. That little single lunger sounded for all the world like it was happily humming beneath me. Bugs by the hundreds were mashing themselves on my windscreen and donking off my helmet. The effects of swamps and woods made the little swarms targets of evening birds and a few bats. As my high beam lit the roads kamakaze pilots of feather and black fur darted through the light, grazing in the temporarily fertile airfield of artificial day.

It just doesn't get any better than that. Only more available time would make it better. Kind of like a slice of your favorite pie only makes you want to buy yourself another when no one's looking.

For some of us riding is like a slice of pie. A treat. There isn't anything wrong with that. For others though, people like you and me, that treat would be a personal epic journey. A tale of two cities seperated by historic persona. Yet the story itself taking place between them. The cities themselves, mere bookends.

That's what we do. What we live for. Its what being back in the saddle means.

Harv

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Spill, Loss of Will

No, not me. My wife has been taking Kythera to work some days. Then it happened. She managed to tip the bike over with her riding over the top. She was fine, but the bike took a mark.

You know how it is when you damage your own things. But forbid it that someone else does it. The world's about to end. Somehow it sticks in your craw. You get over it but you don't, if you know what I mean.

If your father ever took your car one morning, brought it home on a flat so that only about eight inches by an inch or so of rubber was left on the entire rim and then took your other car without saying a word about the whole incident to you, then you understand how I got to where I am.

If your father duplicated the key of your pick up and lent it out to people without your prior knowlege or consent on weekends, you would get an idea of how I feel about ever damn one of my vehicles.

If your father ever took your Super Beetle and never disengaged the parking brake, then complained about how slow a car it was and what the hell was that stink in there, You might gather a sense of how much trust I would have to have in anyone to let that person use my car or bikes.

You know, you'd think I'd have learned with the Duster and that Chevelle... Oh, the VW could have been an honest mistake. But the deal with my F150...

So when the Vespa went over in the hands of someone else, didn't matter who that someone else was, real old resentment boiled to the surface. Like a tar pit churning the stuff it chokes over the centuries. The right situation could bring old bones back to the surface.

Doesn't help that I'm pissed that Karl is no longer for this earth. Guys like him deserve more time with those who they matter to. He's the kind 'made this world a better place.

So the Vespa sits. I can't ride it. Maybe writing this will help me past this bs and I can move on. The Virago has been out though. The Nighthawk is close to finished and the Harley just needs a fresh battery.

Come to think of it Christine has been out quite a bit even for being as busy as I've been. That bike's been with me since 1987. A Virago named Christine.

Screw it. I think I got it out of my system.

Kythera is calling...

Harv

Thursday, April 02, 2009

This post is for the Ziebart and Peters families and friends thereof

Normally this site is for motorcyclists and scooterists. Today I speak to those whose loss was with the Peters and Ziebart families.

Where does one begin? Sunday was a shock to us all. Karl's been a lifelong friend. My earliest memories involve Karl and Bernie. A senseless accident took Karl, little Lukey and Amber's friend. The shock we've endured, the pain we will face is not going to subside anytime soon.

There is no prescribed pattern to how we will all deal with our loss of Karl, Luke and Cara. I won't pretend that we can subdue our feelings with some deeper dedication to prayer or what have you. The fact remains we will mull this over in our minds hundreds if not thousands of times. The emotions which will surface are natural. And Do Not forget that the Almighty designed us with these emotions. Not to deny ourselves what we feel, but to gain glimpses of where we stand, so to speak. To be honest with ourselves.

Scripture tells us to "be angry and sin not". Christ tore the temple apart when he found out what was going on inside the gates. Even so, his response fit the crime.

Why would I write crime? In what way is this a criminal act? In some legal terms it might indeed be a crime scene. Less an accident. From the perspective of the accident itself. The abrupt and misunderstood taking away of our dear loved ones feels like a crime.

But we didn't own our loved ones. What we shared, the moments of our lives together, is ours. Memories of love and friendship, good times and hard. That's what we're really allowed to own.

Seems insignificant doesn't it. Not enough.

You build a life from the soil you're standing on and you nurture the life you're giving your family. No guarantee is set in stone that all this work, here on this rock, will amount to anything we mortals can present to eternity and say Look, Here is my earned key to unlock the Great Gate.

The key we're given is one of mercy. Even in the face of such tremendous loss, where emotions swirl and torment us. Robbing us of rest and peace.

I can't be anything other than honest. This... sucks.

DearLordinheavenKingofmercyandgraceandallthatisgood;

this sucks.

You knew I was thinking it. But I also know that You knew I would be thinking it. Because You made me and them and all of it. How would you not know?

My heart breaks for them. Our hearts are broken, together in a way.

Show us how to be Your hands.

And Your heart.

Harv



But it will in the place where faith is the substance of things hoped for.