Friday, May 29, 2009

Back in the Saddle

I've been wallowing in a bit of self pity. I didn't even realize it. Somehow I let other things in my life take precendence and lost sight of what makes me, well, me. Last night my wife took one look at me and told me to go ride.

I never really noticed how much the scooter has become the favorite of the stable. Something about that machine is better than the others. It doesn't have more power than the others. It doesn't have the image of a true motorcycle. Its a conglomeration of things I prefer and things which might not be as favorable as some aspects of a full on motorcycle. I know. I've got a Yamaha Virago, Honda Nighthawk and Harley Sportster to compare it to. Yet its ride is more individualistic than anything the true road machines can provide.

Last night I donned the helmet after reaquainting myself with my Corrazo 5.0 riding jacket. Hein Gericke gauntlets (not the newer line, these have been with me for over twenty years and not a stitch is out of place) pulled up near mid forearm just felt right. Again.

You can change a lot in your life but some things ought never to be lost. Sure, priorities can be rearranged slightly to fit the needs of a period in one's life, but never lose sight of who you are. Never give up that which defines you.

I've heard more than a few friends tell me they've lost who they once were. I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in their wives' eyes. Once you sacrifice some intrinsic piece of yourself for the sake of others, eventually you resent yourself for never returning to who you were before you commited that selfless act for the love or needs of others. Even though it was the right thing to do, eventually times change and times of need pass. Just as a baseball game has two sides taking turns swinging their bats to score, eventually each team has to stand in the outfield and recieve the ball.

Seems like a minor thing, just to ride. But for many of us who blog about riding, its central to our very nature. It changes us in ways our spouses and friends probably see better than we can. It makes us more whole in some way. When Annette looked at me it was with the recognition of a best friend who knows what you need when you begin to drift off your center. You need to ride. Those were her words.

The busy heat of the day was settling for sumptous cooler air with long shadows across country roads. That little single lunger sounded for all the world like it was happily humming beneath me. Bugs by the hundreds were mashing themselves on my windscreen and donking off my helmet. The effects of swamps and woods made the little swarms targets of evening birds and a few bats. As my high beam lit the roads kamakaze pilots of feather and black fur darted through the light, grazing in the temporarily fertile airfield of artificial day.

It just doesn't get any better than that. Only more available time would make it better. Kind of like a slice of your favorite pie only makes you want to buy yourself another when no one's looking.

For some of us riding is like a slice of pie. A treat. There isn't anything wrong with that. For others though, people like you and me, that treat would be a personal epic journey. A tale of two cities seperated by historic persona. Yet the story itself taking place between them. The cities themselves, mere bookends.

That's what we do. What we live for. Its what being back in the saddle means.



cpa3485 (JIM) said...

Harvey, sometimes when I read blogs I want to be entertained. Other times I wish to be informed and think. Your blog makes me think about lots of things and I enjoy it for that purpose. (not that you are not entertaining as well)

Just wanted to let you know that I had missed you for a bit and glad to see you still out there. I remember Minnesota and bugs from my younger days when our family used to vacation there. I remember leeches as well at one lake where we fished.

I have started a blog of my own and if you care to take a gander at it here's the link.

I am finding that the blogging exercise is a chance to be a bit creative as well as looking at myself a bit also.

Take care,

John McClane said...

I know exactly what you mean about the need to ride.

Great post.

Baron's Life said...

Harv, where did you learn to write like that...always very informative, soul searching and entertaining..the need to ride is like the need for food, helter and less
Cheers man

American Scooterist Blog said...

Jim, nice site. I got caught up in the middle of the post and still have to get back to it. But don't quit, these logs seem to be a necessity rather than something we put out there for others' enjoyment as much as I thought.

Thank you John. Once I became old enough to have any form of autonomy, riding and playing sax became a necessity.

Thanks Baron's Life. I've been writing for a long time. I try my best to put things down in a way that's always fresh. But sometimes leaning into a turn is just leaning into a turn lol


irondad said...

I know what you mean about losing yourself and trying to find yourself again. I worked a job I hated for over three years. It was what we needed at the time but it sucked the life out of me. Almost literally. Fortunately, I came back when I left.

Forget a piece of pie with seconds. I want to wallow in the bakery!

I'm reading these posts while sipping whiskey. Not riding, of course. Nor driving. Your posts and the whiskey are a good combination. Interesting. Makes it easier to get into the mood you're putting across, I guess.